An elderly man dressed as a pirate, driving slowly down the street in Los Angeles was stopped by the local constable at 1:00 in the morning.
Constable: "Where are you going at this time of night?
Old man: "I'm going to a Lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body."
Constable: "Really?" "Who is giving the lecture at this late hour?"
Old man: "That would be my wife."
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